Today was Mr. Wolf Day, and each class of music majors did something special to honor Mr. Wolf as he is getting ready to retire and leave GBS. The Freshmen sang "Thank You for Giving to the Lord," made a slide show of pictures from Mr. Wolf's years here at GBS and gave him a picture frame that was really cool. The Sophmores ( :0) woohoo! ) wrote a speech using all of his "Wolfism's" and gave him a gift card to Home Depot! The Juniors gave him a scrapbooked picture frame and ... bacon (becuase earlier in the week, Mr. Wolf mentioned how he just couldn't do all he had to do on a meager breakfast of two small pieces of french toast, he needed bacon!). Then the Seniors gave him a box of Glad trash bags, so that he will always remember, "Don't get mad, get Glad." They also gave him a scrapbook with pictures and notes from all the seniors. It was a really fun day and everyone had on their Music Division shirts!
Here is a copy of the speech that the sophomores wrote. If you've ever been in the choir at GBS, maybe you've heard one or two of these sayings before! ENJOY!
Well, hello out there in radio land! Or as the big boys say, “Good morning, sports fans!”
Lets see, what shall we do today? Let’s ride around on the big bus! But remember, you can't enjoy it on Sunday, cause that would be joy riding! So therefore, I would like to tell you about a great man who has influenced a lot of people’s lives. He grew up on an 80 acre farm and he was the nobody of nobodies…all he did was raise fancy pigeons. He has taught at GBS for 34 years and has been in Christian Education for 37 years, and now he’s getting ready to retire. But let’s go back, I think we missed a note!
The first thing he does every morning is to wake up, get out of the fetal position and eat the gunpowder out of a shotgun shell, so he’ll be meaner than a snake! Then he gets out his Christian Bible and begins the day, knowing that the God of rehearsal is the God of performance.
Throughout the day, he teaches his students that they must sit up straight, backs away from the chair, feet flat on the floor, and strive to look intelligent - let‘s try fooling them. I mean, “Hey ma’, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”
We also learned that we need to sing while we still have teeth, because we will soon be singing in a geriatric choir with Andy and Shirley.
He scares us to death with comments like, “I'm gonna put this pencil in one ear and pull it out the other and you won't feel a thing, sweetie pie - cause there's nothing in there!” Comments like, “I want it quiet in here, like a truckload of dead babies!” and "I'm gonna rip your arm off and beat your head into a bloody stump!" We also learned that if we chewed gum in choir, which he never saw, we’d probably start choking and have to get a trach…and there aren’t that many people in the GBS choir who are actually qualified to do one!
He has traveled all over the country for GBS, but we learned something of his world travels when he said, “If I went to the deepest section of the outback and roped me a native, and told him to say 'aaahhhh', guess what? He'd say 'AAAHHH'"
He tore down our self-inflated egos when he told us that out of all his choirs we were the worst at sight singing, and if we were the only one in tune, we may need to ask, “Is it I Lord?”
He realizes that all this is hard for college students to understand. But, opporknockity is tuning, and it only tunes once! So violins stop sounding like cats on a tin roof and French horn’s, YOU CAN’T BE TOO LOUD! So, what does that mean in Kentucky Greek? It means that we, as college students, need to enjoy and remember all the things that we have learned under Mr. Wolf while we can, because soon he’ll be gone!
Even when he’s tired, you will always see him with smiling eyes and laughing cheeks.
You just gotta love him or the bad man will get ya! Or, he might just go ahead and kill you and tell God you died. But we will give you a decent Christian burial, so don’t worry!
Someday we’ll be out there when it’s just Jesus and us in Smergaly Junction and we‘ll remember Mr. Wolf saying, “I told you so!”
Well, Mickey Mouse saith that I must bring this to a close, but don‘t go to saint mattress just yet, because I've got news for you, Mr. Wolf! As you end this chapter of your life and head into the exciting chapter of retirement.
All we have left to say is: Mr. Wolf, don’t go away mad, just go away! We’ll see you at Homecoming next fall, unless the rapture happens and then you’ll just have to be there by yourself!
